Breaking Through
by xdrowningxsoulx
Summary: Ariella Dawson wants to avenge the death of her best friend. To do so, she kills the man responsible. She goes into a state of depression, wearing all black. When she goes to Camp Greenlake, can anyone save her and help her break through? Please R & R!
1. Crime and Punishment

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A/N: Hey guys! This is my first Holes fanfic, so I'd appreciate honesty. I like writing dark stories, so here's a warning that this chick is dark and if you don't like dark stories then I suggest you hit the back button on your browser right now! This isn't a threat...If you read, you MUST review! It takes like one whole minute to do! And I love feedback! Okay, I'm done rambling...Enjoy!

Breaking Through

Chapter One: Crime and Punishment

I don't know what the big deal was. It was just a guy. And a...knife. I had good reason, too. Confused? Let me explain.

I was "normal" before it happened. "Normal" as in good grades, plenty of friends, great family, good makeup (as in no black makeup/polish), all that fluffy stuff. And then it happened. Kyle was his name. And I can't believe I loved the man. I wasn't his first victim, Julie was. Julie is...was...my best friend. I miss her so. We were like sisters. Until...

I don't remember everything that happened...I didn't witness the actual crime. Well I did, but I lie. You would, too, if you saw the death of your best friend happening right in front of you. What a clever man he was. Simple death with no trace of evidence. We were at the lake in the summertime, somewhere Kyle and I went often. It was a beautiful day. The three of us were holding hands, walking down to the lake. He jumped in, freaking the both of us out. We laughed at his tricks and jumped in after him.

He kissed me, long and slow and peaceful, the way I love it...Or used to. I hate him now. Anyway...After the kiss, I turned around...I don't know why, but I did. Big mistake, Ari! Big mistake! I curse myself for that now. Great, now I'm crying. But I have to go on or this will be pointless. So I turn around and apparently he thought it was a great opportunity to "make his move." I turn back around and there they are. Kissing each other. In front of me. My boyfriend and best friend kissing. It broke my heart. Next thing I know, he lets go of her and she sinks to the bottom of the lake like a ship anchor. 

We both wait a moment, but she doesn't appear. I panic and go with my first instinct. I dive to the bottom and find her lifeless. I immediately pull her to shore and attempt to perform CPR. Thank God for that class. But no matter how hard I tried, she wouldn't come back. He had kissed to kill. Sweet on the outside, bitter on the inside - just like his father. He'd left her unable to breathe, killing her slowly like poison. And he'd just walked away. I didn't see him for a week. On the one week anniversary of Julianna Margaret Greene's death, I became a victim. 

It was getting cooler, nearing the end of the summer heat. I stayed at the cemetery sitting at Julie's grave. I talked to her all day about absolutely nothing that made sense. Like we used to do. Then he came. He'd touched my shoulder and simply said, "I miss her so." I hate that voice. I wish he had never come. I wish I had never spoke to him that day. But I did.

"Then why did you kill her?" I asked in a cold voice.

"I didn't mean to," he'd responded. Nobody ever means to do anything, they just do it.

"Sure, nobody means to kill anyone, do they? Why'd you do it? You wanted to hurt me didn't you?"

"No, Ari, I'd never hurt you."

"Well you did, you bastard!"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't going to cut it, Kyle."

"It's the best I can do."

"I don't care what you can do. I don't care about you. I hope you burn in hell for what you did, Kyle Landry." I started to walk away, but he gripped my arm so hard to stop me that I winced. He'd never done this before. But then again he'd never killed anyone before Julie. He dragged me to his car as I desperately tried to pull from his grasp. He'd just tightened it harder. He put me in the passenger seat of his car and drove us to his home. I stared at him, completely bewildered. 

Once inside his home he took me to his room and shoved me on the bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Doing what I've wanted to do since the day we began dating."

"And that would be...?" 

"Take off your clothes," he said simply.

"Uh...How about no?"

"Fine then." He turned on some music, a soft rock beat. "Strip for me." 

"No! Kyle, what is wrong with you?!" 

"Nothing. I'm perfectly fine." He slapped me hard across the face. "Dance for me. Or you'll wish we'd never met."

"I already do." He slapped me again. I instantly stripped for him to the beat of the harsh music. Once I was naked, he stripped and instantly was inside me, so fast it made my head spin. He'd stuffed a cloth in my mouth to stifle the screams he knew would come. I blacked out after that and woke up in his bed naked, and he was gone. 

I dressed and went straight to the graveyard, finding Kyle at Julie's grave. I snuck up behind him, trying to be as quiet as possible. I took out a knife I'd been keeping with me for self-defense purposes and stabbed him twice in the back. He was dead instantly. I must have been drunk or something, because I then did one of the dumbest things anyone could ever do other than killing someone. I cleaned my knife, stuffed him in the trunk of my car, and dumped him in the lake that we were swimming in just hours before.

On the one week anniversary of Julie's death, I, Ariella Josephine Dawson, became a victim. On the one week anniversary of Julie's death, I became a murderer.

The next day I was sent to Camp Greenlake, embarking on a journey I would never forget. 


	2. From Dream to Nightmare

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Breaking Through

Chapter Two: From Dream to Nightmare

The bus arrived at my home that day, loud and covered with dirt. I was dreading this, but I was ready for it. I immediately boarded the bus and a sick feeling went through my stomach. A short, chubby black man stood and stared me down. Chills went through my body. The windows were completely covered in dirt, and the bus creaked as I walked down the aisle and took a seat. I looked at the black man and the gun next to him. What am I, a murderer? Oh wait...I am one. Never mind.

The bus arrived at the camp, and I had to gasp at the endless amount of holes. I wondered why they were there. What did these girls do all day? Hopefully not dig all those holes. I could never do that. I stepped off the bus. There weren't many people around. I suddenly felt out of place with my black tank-top, black shorts, black lipstick, black nail polish and thick black eyeliner and mascara. No, I wasn't trying to look like a slut, I just felt dark. You would too, if you lost your best friend, been raped and killed somebody all in the same day. The place was completely deserted. Did they drive me to a deserted camp to kill me? Suddenly, a bugle sounded and five boys came out. Boys? This is a boys' camp! Why the hell am I here?

The boys lined up and a tall, skinny man came toward me. He extended his hand. 

"Hi, I'm Dr. Pendanski, your counselor. Ariella Dawson, I presume?" I wasn't going to shake that man's hand no matter what.

"I prefer Ari, but okay." A few boys snickered at my name. I gave them a cold, hard stare and they shut up.

"Well," He cleared his throat and lowered his hand. "These are the boys from D-Tent. You'll be staying with them while you're here." Staying? With boys? What the fuck was going on?! "This is Rex, Alan, Theodore, Ricky, José and Zero. Don't bother trying to get Zero to talk because...well...he won't." I rolled my eyes. What was this guy talking about? "Boys, this is Ariella."

"It's Ari!" I shouted. They all jumped. I ran into the tent as fast as I could, my bag bouncing up and down on my back. I didn't like it when people called me by my "real name." My foster parents - they called me that. I hate the name they gave me. They didn't like the name I had before my parents died. They didn't like me either. At least she didn't. Dead. I hate that word. I hate the phrase "sexually transmitted disease", too. That's what took them away from me. AIDS. If only they hadn't had sex after I was born. If only Jason wasn't born. Then he wouldn't be dead either. Now I have no family.

I picked up his picture and wondered why I even brought it. He killed an innocent girl. I threw it on the ground, shattering it to pieces. Everyone must have heard it, because the boys came rushing in. 

"What was that?" one of them asked.

"A picture broke, that's all. Why do you care?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry. I don't!" he snapped back. 

Dr. Pendanski poked his head in the tent. 

"Head to the mess hall. Dinner time," he said. I sighed and followed the boys into the mess hall.

It was loud in there. I wasn't in the mood to eat anything. The only thing I wanted to do was go back in time before my parents and brother died and fix it. But I couldn't. I sat down with the boys and stared at the "food" in the tray.

"What is this stuff?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's snert," said one of the boys.

"Mmm'kay?" they all joined in except Zero. They laughed loudly.

"You guys are sick!" I screamed. I got up and started to walk away, but someone pulled me back into my seat.

"Sorry, baby girl, you gotta eat with the people in your tent. Us," he said.

"Don't you ever call me 'baby girl'. EVER!"

"Well, why not? Don't you like it?"

"No, it sucks."

"Well, why's that? I personally like it...baby girl."

"Damnit, I told you not to call me that!!" Tears streamed down my face. They stared at me in shock. They just at stared me...It was creeping me out so I decided to go on to break the silence. "My...My father called me that. Then he died." I excused myself from the table and they continued to stare. What was with them? Hadn't they ever seen a girl before? I reached the tent and buried my head in my hands. They came in and one of them cleared their throat. "What do you want?" I snapped.

"C'mon. It's digging time," he said.

"Digging time?" I looked up.

"Punishment for bein' here. We dig holes."

"Great. That's the last thing I want to do."

"Well, too bad. Suck it up and grab a shovel." I rolled my eyes. What was with these people? I wasn't in the mood to hear anymore badgering from them, so I picked up a shovel and followed. I wasn't in the mood to dig either. We reached the "digging area" and a short and fat man came to greet us...or...just me. He got up in my face and he looked like he was going to spit on me. 

"My name is Mr. Sir. You will address me by this name and this name only...got it?" 

"Got it, Mr. Sir," I said with a smile. If there was one good lesson I learned from my "parents" it was to get on everyone's sweet side.

"Where's your jumpsuit?" He spit out a few sunflower seeds. 

"I'm sorry?"

"You didn't get an orange jumpsuit?"

"No, sir, I didn't."

"I'll be right back." I raised an eyebrow. He stared at me for a moment, and then headed into our tent. All the boys were laughing now. It wasn't my fault I didn't get a jumpsuit.

"Shut the hell up," I scowled at them. Mr. Sir came back with two jumpsuits. He handed them to me and cleared his throat.

"One is for digging, the other for...not...digging. Go change and get back here fast." I looked at him, confused, and went to the tent. The jumpsuit looked too warm to wear, but I had to wear it, so I improvised. I tied the arms around my waist and wore only my sports bra. I came out and took my place in line. He came up to me again.

"Today, you get to dig," he said. Duh... "You must dig a five foot by five foot hole. If you don't know, that's the length of your shovel." How stupid did he think I was? "When you finish you can go back to your tent. If you dig up anything..." He rubbed his chin as he searched for the right word. "...interesting, let me know, and I'll take it to the warden. If she thinks it's good enough, you'll get the rest of the day off. Now go dig."

He walked away, leaving me there. I stood there, trying to comprehend what he had said.

"Dig!!" someone shouted, bringing me out of my thoughts. I cursed and walked to an empty space. I pushed my shovel into the hard ground, when a horrible memory popped into my head.

__

"You don't deserve to live!" she shouted at me, the gun pointed at my chest. I did deserve to live! I didn't do anything wrong! Scott saw what was happening, and pushed her out of the way, ruining her aim. The bullet hit me in the arm, and I fell to the ground.

What brought that on? That was so long ago. Yet it still haunts me today. I got out my walkman and played my CD. Anything and everything to get that horrible night off my mind. I shivered, even though it was 90 degrees. I jammed the shovel into the ground, forming a small hole. Anger bubbled inside me for the woman who didn't deserve to go free. But she did. They put her in jail and he paid the bail. And then she lived her life as though nothing happened. 

~*~*~

I finished my hole and went back to the tent. I lied down and tried to sleep. I fell asleep quickly, but instantly wish I had woken up.

__

I walked through the door, tired and angry because of school. I started up the stairs, but froze when I heard my name.

"Ari? Is that you?" he said. I walked into the living room and there he was, newspaper in hand. 

"Hi Scott," I replied. 

"Hi. How was school today?" I joined him on the couch and he kissed me on the top of my head. 

"It sucked. I have an algebra exam in a week, and then six more exams after that. I don't know if I can do it."

"Sure you can. You just have to study and believe in yourself."

"Yeah, like that's going to help."

"You know, you put yourself down too much. You have to be positive more often." 

"Positive, my ass!" 

"You don't think it'll work?"

"No. Nothing ever works for me."

"It worked for your mother and I."

"Yeah, well, she dropped out of high school, didn't she?"

"Don't bring that up. You know you aren't supposed to."

"Then I'll bring up the fact that she doesn't love me."

"That's not true."

"Oh, it isn't? The day you took me in she came up to my room. She told me that the only reason I was here was because you wanted me. She told me not to try to gain her trust or love because it wasn't gonna work. She called me a dirty little bitch, Scott!"

"Oh, my God. She seemed like she loved you so much."

"Yeah, well she didn't!" I screamed. I ran up the stairs to my room, tears running down my cheeks. I feel on my bed and cried my eyes out. The last thing I heard before falling asleep was Shelly's voice.

When I woke up, I went downstairs, forgetting that my "mother", Shelly, was home. I was suddenly in good mood after getting it all out, but the happiness was gone as soon as I saw her.

"Shelly," I said.

"Ariella," she replied. This went on everyday. She would come home from work, I would come downstairs, we would greet each other, and then not speak for the rest of the night. It was like a routine or something. To us, it was just the way life went. But for some reason, she was acting differently that day. I was clearing the table from dinner when I heard them talking in another room. 

"She should go back." Shelly said this, of course. 

"Why? I love her more than anything." Scott. I could always count on him to stick up for me.

"Why? She's hostile and disrespectful to me."

"I wonder why! She told me that the day she came you told her not to try to earn your love or trust because she'd be wasting her time! How could you say that?"

"I don't like her. She goes back tomorrow!"

"No...if I have to move out and take her with me, I will!" I smiled. What would I do without Scott? I gathered up the courage and walked into the room.

"Glad to know you love me, Shelly," I said coldly. She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. "Look, I'll start packing tonight and be outta here tomorrow, if that's what you want. I've been trying to make you happy for so long, and if leaving will do the trick then I'll go."

Scott started to protest, but I stopped him.

"Don't, Scott," I said. "What do you want me to do, Shelly?" Scott left the room and went to the other side of the house. Shelly waited for until he was out of earshot to speak.

"I want you to die," she said in a low voice. I was taken aback by her words. I stood from the couch and walked toward the door.

"What?" She took out a gun.

"Don't move or I'll shoot."

"What does it matter? You'll kill me anyway."

"You don't deserve to live!" she shouted at me, the gun pointed at my chest. I did deserve to live! I didn't do anything wrong! Scott saw what was happening, and pushed her out of the way, ruining her aim. The bullet hit me in the arm, and I fell to the ground.

~*~*~

I woke up, sweating. I lifted my sleeve to look at the scar on my arm. 

"Have a nice nap?" I jumped.

"What do you want?" 

"We have names, you know."

"I know you do. I just haven't learned them yet."

"I'm X-Ray. Remember that."

"I'll try. What's everybody else's names?" The rest of the boys stood behind him.

"That's Squid, Armpit, Zigzag, Magnet and of course...Zero." They all grunted in response. Zero stayed quiet. What a weird kid. "I'm in charge here."

"Is that so?" A man in charge? If men were in charge of everything, beer would give you calcium instead of milk.

"Yeah. You wanna do something about it?"

"Actually, I do."

"You wanna fight?"

"No. Some kind of competition."

"Such as...?"

"Well, I can do pretty much anything since I'm a woman and all. I'll let you decide."

He thought for a few minutes, rubbing his chin to look "cool."

"I've got it!" Oh my God, he has an answer! Who woulda thunk it? "I'll arm wrestle you. Competition of strength, right? Four out of seven. If you win, you're in charge." I looked at the boys' reaction to the possibility of a woman being in charge. Their eyes were wide; their mouths were open wide as a black hole. "Of course," he continued, "if...when I win, I'll be in charge...no exceptions."

"Like you can beat me." I lifted my sleeve and showed off my muscles, careful not to reveal my scar. He showed off his muscles, too. They were almost as big as mine. I could still take him.

"Watch me." We sat down at a table that was in the middle of the room. I cupped my hand in his.

"On my count. One...two...three." 

We both struggled at first, and it seemed as though no one would win. But then a fire went through me and all my power and strength was standing in front of me. I grabbed its hand, and together, we took him down. I had won match number one. One down, three to go.

"Oh no...A _girl_ beat you. How does it feel?"

"So you may have won one. But we still have six more to go."

"Not if I win the next three." I was going to, no matter what. There was no way I could lose to him. 

"Shut up and give me your hand." Once again, I cupped my hand in his. "On _my _count this time. You cheat." I rolled my eyes. Anything to put a woman down. "One, two, three." He was down in a matter of two seconds. I was charged and ready for anything that came my way.

"Twice in a row, mister. You must be pretty damn weak." 

"I'm not weak. I just dug a damn hole. I'm tired, that's all."

"Sure, whatever. I'll make you a deal. Since you're 'tired', we'll do one more. Whoever wins is in charge. Sound fair?"

"Hmm...maybe you're the tired one. But it sounds fair to me."

"Okay...Let's go."

I was going to win this one. I couldn't lose to this...wimp. We both wanted to win pretty damn bad. Him because he was sexist. Me because I wanted to prove that the myth wasn't true - women aren't the weaker sex. If anything, we were stronger. I'm here to prove that.

His arm was shaking fiercely against mine. He was breaking. I could feel it. I stared him down, not blinking. He was flinching and sweating like crazy. Then it was over. I was in charge.

"I guess I'm in charge now," I said, feeling confident. 

"I guess so. Happy now?" He scowled at me. 

"Yeah, I am, thanks." I hadn't taken a shower after digging, and it was definitely needed. "Alright, guys. I'm off to take a shower. When I get back, I'm going to bed." They all scowled at me. Nobody listens anymore.

I reached the showers...well...shower, actually. I realized I was going to have a hard time getting clean. I took off my dirty jumpsuit and stood under the water. I had to wash in my bra and underwear, and I only had so much time. It was difficult, but I achieved it. A few times, I saw my mother and father's faces, my source of motivation. If only they were still alive.

I was walking back to the tent and I saw smoke coming from it. I was alarmed at first, but then I realized that if there were a fire the boys would be running out. I saw Zero sitting outside, staring into space. 

"What are they smoking in there?" They all seemed like the smoking type. 

"Weed. It's a daily thing," he replied shyly. 

"How come you ain't in there with them? Aren't you all friends?"

"I don't do that shit. I'm not like them, you know. If they want to throw their lives away, that's just fine with me. They don't like me. Haven't from day one. But that's okay, because I don't want to be like them. They don't believe me. They think I'm trying too hard."

"I believe you. You know, you seem like a guy I can trust. It's top on my list."

"List?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. What's important in a guy and a relationship - love or friendship. Both even."

"Well, it's good to know you trust me."

"Oh, I don't just yet. I've only known you a few hours. Someday, maybe. But don't try to change me. I like the way I am. Don't worry though, you come off pretty good."

"Thanks. You...come off good, too." I chuckled. I may have just made a friend.

"These stars are so beautiful. I just want to reach up and grab one."

"Yeah, they are beautiful. But...not as beautiful...as you." I blushed.

"Thanks. How sweet." I looked down and blushed even harder. I was still in my bra and underwear! "S-Sorry about the-" 

"It's alright. No big deal." I smiled and yawned.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna go inside. You comin'?" I stood up.

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Oh, okay. Good night."

"Good night." 

The boys had stopped smoking (wow) and were asleep. I changed into my monkey pajamas. I rooted through my bag for my Discman and crawled into bed. I couldn't sleep without my music. My mom was really involved with music. She was a singer and songwriter. I guess that's where I got it. I turned on the Discman and slowly fell asleep. Tomorrow I would tell my story.

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Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers:

LilKatie9190

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More reviews bring more chapters! ^__^


	3. I Promise

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Breaking Through

Chapter Three: I Promise

The sun was high, and we were all sweating. To my surprise, I was moving very slow. I slept well last night, so I don't know why I was tired. As I was finally nearing the end of my struggle in the hot sun, I started to shake. I wasn't worried, because this had always happened if I was overly exhausted. But I began to worry when dizziness washed over me. Thank God I was finished with my hole and I could rest.

I struggled to get out of the hole I had just dug. My vision was blurring…I could barely see. I walked slowly and blindly back to the tent, fearing I may not make it in time. Luckily, I did, and I searched through the bag for the one thing that would calm me down. I knew I would regret this - I always have. But once you start, you can never stop. It wasn't even my fault.

__

The music blared and the people shouted. New years. Every year. Every year it gives me a headache. The parents were gone, and word got around. So I was stuck, with no way out. Three hundred people…most of whom I didn't know. They just wouldn't leave. 

He came up behind me and made me jump.

"Jesus Christ, what is your problem?!" I shouted as my head pounded more and more.

"I'm sorry, baby. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just a headache."

"Just a headache, huh? Come with me." He grabbed my arm and pulled me through the crowd toward the stairs.

"Don't. Where are you taking me?"

"Shh. Just follow me."

I had no chance to protest, because we were already in the bathroom.

"What are we doing in here?" I asked, really confused. 

"Shh…" He leaned over and kissed me deeply. "Headache better?"

"No, but the kissing's nice."

"Mmm…Yes, it is." He smiled and kissed me once again. He reached behind me with one hand as he rubbed my arm with the other. I was almost curious enough to turn around and see what he was doing, but the kiss was too good, and I didn't want to stop.

I had almost gotten lost in the kiss when I felt a needle dig into my skin. I jumped back.

"What the hell was that?" I waited a minute before answering. 

"Is your headache gone?"

Surprisingly, it was. Whatever he put into me sure did the trick.

"Yes…What did you do?" He held up a syringe. "What the hell is in me? What did you do?"

"It's heroin, Ari."

I put my hand over my mouth. Why would he do something like that?

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I'll never be able to get off this shit now!" He smiled in response.

"That's okay, though. I mean, how do you feel? Your headache's gone and you're feeling better, right? What harm can it do?"

"What harm can it do? Everything! If I get too addicted I could die probably!"

"Then don't. Just don't take so much at once or as often."

"It's not that simple. Thanks a lot."

I ran out of the bathroom and out of the house, not caring anymore. He was screwing my life up, and I had no other choice but to leave him. 

By now, you're probably wondering why the hell I was ever with him in the first place. I don't really know. My heart was just telling me to be with him. I became addicted to him. And of course, once again…Once you start you can never stop.

So that's what brought me where I was. Sitting in a tent injecting myself with heroin. I wanted to get off of the horrible stuff, but addiction grabs you and never lets go. There was nothing I could do. 

~*~*~

After dinner, I went back to the tent alone. I needed to be alone to sort out everything that was going on. I looked at her cot as I was walking to mine. Something caught my eye. I stopped and walked closer to get a better look. It was a drawing of a girl and a picture, probably of someone very close to her. It looked like the picture was of her mother, but I didn't know.

I studied both the picture and the drawing. They looked almost exactly alike. The creases of the face made the drawing look like the real picture. At first I thought she had only traced it. But the drawing was much bigger than the picture itself. 

"What are you doing with those?"

I was so lost in thought. I hadn't even noticed her come in. 

"I-I'm just l-looking." My brain told me to put them down, but my body wouldn't allow it. 

"Stop it. Give me those." She took them out of my hands. She looked like she was about to cry. 

"I-I'm s-sorry."

"Don't go through my things again." Tears welled in her eyes. 

"I found them on your cot. Please don't cry. I'm sorry."

She was crying now. She sat on her cot and put her head in her hands. She swayed slightly, and looked as though she may have been drunk. 

"Don't be. It's my fault. It's not that big of deal, really."

"Did you draw this?"

"Yeah. It's bad, isn't it?"

"No, it's one of the best I've seen. If you don't mind me asking, who is that?"

"My mother. She and my father and brother all died when I was young."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, thanks. I don't know very much about you. Gosh, I don't even know your real name. Zero isn't your real name, is it?" 

"No, it's not. My name's Hector."

"How'd you get the nickname?"

"I'm not sure," I lied. I didn't want her finding out the real reason - I was stupid and couldn't read. Therefore, I was worth nothing…to them, at least. "Someone suggested it, and it just stuck."

"Oh. What are you here for?"

"Stealing a pair of shoes. You?"

"Murder," she answered quickly.

"Whoa. Why'd you do it?" 

She folded her hands and stared at them, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"Um…Why don't you go first? I d-don't feel comfortable yet."

"Okay…Um…They were having this auction at the homeless shelter or whatever that I was livin' at. I was looking through all this stuff and I saw a pair of shoes that belonged to some famous basketball player. I liked 'em…I didn't know they were famous. Next thing I know I'm runnin' off with 'em. I end up gettin' busted the next day…Liftin' a pair of shoes from a Payless." 

"H-Homeless shelter? Y-You--"

"Yeah…So?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you angry."

"No, it's okay. No big deal." There was a long silence. "What about you?" She hesitated before answering and started crying again as soon as she spoke.

"My life was sort of like yours…not really though. I was living in a foster home with a guy who liked me - it was his decision to take me in - and a 'mother' who hated me for all I was worth. After she tried killing me--"

"Whoa. What a bad mom."

"Told you she hated me. Anyway, after…that, I was pretty depressed. Thought nothin' good could come of my life. I tried hard to make my life better so I started dating this guy. We were at the lake one day with my best friend. When I wasn't looking, he kissed her. H-He suffocated her and k-killed her. That same day when I was visiting her grave, he took me to his house. We went up to his room and he…raped me. I found him at her grave and I stabbed him twice and killed him. Now I'm stuck here for twenty months."

"What a bastard."

"Yeah, I thought so, too. Still do."

There was a long silence between us. 

"Thanks for listening. You're a good friend," she said with a smile. 

"Yeah…You too." I smiled back. Next thing I knew, her lips were pressed against mine. "Um…"

"S-Sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Don't apologize. I've just never been kissed like that…before." I smiled wide. We were friends…and maybe more.

~*~*~ 

It was getting late, and I was shaking once again. There was only one way to stop it. I took out the syringe and filled it with the drug. 

"What are you doing? What is that?"

His voice startled me. I turned around, syringe still in hand. 

"I-It's nothing."

"Ariella…Is that heroin?"

"Don't you call me that."

"Call you what?"

"Ariella. That's not my name. My name's Sarah."

"Uh…Okay, don't know where that came from. Just put the thing down."

"No. I need this stuff."

"Ari--" He caught himself before I could yell at him. "Sarah, that stuff could kill you!"

"I know. Blame it on my damn boyfriend! He did this to me! He put the stuff in me!"

"C'mon, put the stuff down. Give it to me."

"No! I NEED THIS!!"

"I can help you get off the shit. Trust me."

"I can't trust you. I can't trust anybody anymore!"

"Yes, you can! Unless you were on this stuff earlier, you trusted me when you told me all that stuff and when you kissed me!" She stayed silent. "You _were_ on this stuff, weren't you?!"

I nodded my head.

"I'm sorry." I handed him the syringe. 

"So…that kiss meant nothing to you?"

"I don't know. I did feel something so that isn't really true."

"Maybe you're the one who shouldn't be trusted."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" The shaking got worse and I cried harder than ever. I sat on his bed and he sat next to me.

"Come here." He sat back and held me in his arms. "I'm gonna help you through this. We'll get through it together. Soon you'll be free. I promise."

~*~*~


End file.
